Chapter 9: It'll Last Longer

Ein knew it. This wasn't some run-down paint-peeling possum-cooking bucket-for-toilet old shack. The Vandervanders lived in a mansion.

He was about to activate a speaker on the outside of the fence to speak to somebody inside when--

"Ein, look!--Someone just climbed out that window and I think he's a thief, or maybe--"

"Chucky, be quiet." Ein forced Chucky to duck with him behind a bush. "He might be dangerous."

Chucky nodded.

The thief climbed the fence and landed a few meters from Ein and Chucky.

Ein felt his face puffing out. He realized that his cheeks had expanded so far, they almost poked out on either side of the bush.

The more he thought about how his face needed to be smaller, the more it puffed.

Don't let him see him. Don't let him see me. Don't--

The thief saw him. "Is someone there?" He walked behind the bush and clutched a vase in his hands. But he almost dropped it when he saw there were people there. "Oh no. Oh no. It wasn't supposed to be like this, you understand? No one was supposed to see." The thief's forehead glimmered with sweat. "You gotta understand, he cheated me. He cheated me!" His hands shook and it seemed like he was about to crush the vase with his bare hands when he calmed himself. "Please don't tell anyone. Will you tell anyone?"

Ein and Chucky stared.

"Will you tell anyone!"

The thief realized that the vase was no longer in his hands. "Who stole it? One of you did, didn't you? Didn't you! Give it back!"

Ein and Chucky looked at each other.

The thief charged at the two of them.

Ein screamed like a girl.

A black figure landed between the thief and the boys. It was a ninja and he held the vase.

"Give it back!" The thief swung his fist.

The ninja grabbed the man's hand, then threw the vase up in the air. He stuck somethind to the thief's forehead, and caught the vase again with two fingers.

Ein read the little booklet attached to the thief's face. It said: How To Deal With Your Anger Other Than Seeking Revenge.

The ninja stared at the thief with two stone eyes--the only parts of him not covered up with darkness.

The thief stared back for a second, then ran away.

Ein's face shrunk back to normal size again.

"Thanks for the help,"--Chucky said.--"At first I thought, oh no, we're in trouble, then I thought, maybe the thief won't hurt us because I don't think all thieves are violent, and I don't like to stereotype people, then I started thinking about this rerun I saw yesterday of some cop show, and…"

Chucky kept rambling on, but Ein couldn't hear him.

Ein stared, frozen, as the ninja approached him. He didn't know what the ninja was after. Maybe the ninja wasn't really some righteous crime fighter. Maybe he fought criminals, and fought law-abiding citizens too! Maybe he was a new breed of warrior who didn't care who--!

The ninja held out the vase and shook it.

"You…want me to take it?" Ein said.

The ninja nodded.

Ein took the vase. "Hey, uh." He looked down at his feet. "Thanks for…doing what you did. I don't know what that guy would have done, but…" He looked up again and the ninja had rejoined the darkness of the night…in other words, he was gone.

***

A chimpanzee butler took their coats, then led Ein and Chucky to a room made of glass. The chamber was actually surrounded by a giant fish tank. Sharks and other very large fish that Ein couldn't identify swam above and below and around them.

The chimp typed something into a tiny keyboard on his wrist, and a robotic voice spoke from a speaker strapped to the chimp's belt: "The master will be here shortly." He typed some more. "Please, make yourself at home."

With that, the chimp scampered off.

Ein and Chucky sat on two mounds of pillows.

"I knew Vincent was a stuck-up little brat, but this is more than I could have hoped for." Ein could almost cry.

"Hey Ein, do you think these sharks could break this glass if they really wanted to, because I read that sharks are really strong, and if they get irritated by something--"

"I'd rather not think about it, Chucky."

The sliding doors opened and a pink-cheeked jolly-looking fat guy--who could have passed as Santa if he was wearing the proper clothes instead of a robe--approached the two boys. "Good evening, gentlemen."

"Good evening," they returned. Chucky opened his mouth to return more, but--

"Mr. Fluffy told me you retrieved the vase that was stolen from me only minutes ago," the jolly man said.

Ein nodded and held out the vase. "It was actually a ninja who got it back, but he gave it to us to give to you."

The jolly fat man took the vase and climbed a pillow mountain in the center of the room. He sat and scratched his long white beard. "And you don't know who this ninja fellow is?"

Ein shook his head.

"What perplexes me is how this ninja knew that you two would be trustworthy enough to return this vase to its rightful owner."

Ein thought about that for a second. The old man was right. It was strange. "I really don't know why he trusted us, sir."

"Perhaps this ninja knows you more than you know him."

Could that be possible?

Ein shook away the thoughts. He had more pressing matters to attend to at the moment. "Mr. Vandervander, there's a reason I came here, and it has nothing to do with the vase. I came to talk about your son."
"Vincent?" The man's face wrinkled with a powerful smile. "Are you his friend?"

"Uh...yeah. We're...buddies."

"Wonderful! Wonderful!" He clapped his hands together. "So how is he? Is he well? Is he happy?"

"Oh, Vincent's doing just fine. Lots of friends, a new job, and a…bike."

"I knew he could do it! I knew it. So what specifically do you wish to speak with me about?"

"Uh…" Ein hadn't really thought this far ahead. He'd have to think of something quick. "The thing is…Vincent has been such a good friend to me, I'd like to try to repay him, by making him a…present. A photo album. I have pictures of him and all his new friends, but I don't have any of his past. When he looks through the album, I want him to remember just how far he's traveled in his life…to become the man he is today."

Mr. Vandervander wiped a tear from his cheek. "Of course. I'll be right back," and he rushed out the door.

"Hey, Ein,"--Chucky said.--"Don't you think it's a little strange?--I mean--"

"What's strange?"

"I don't want to brag, but I happen to know a lot about machinery and electronics and things, and I couldn't help but noticing on the way in that the Vandervanders have quite an advanced security system installed here, one that could easily detect any thief, so I can only assume--"

"That the system was deactivated," Mr. Vandervander said, coming in with albums tucked under his arms. "I was the one who deactivated it."

"Why?" Ein asked.

"Because the man who broke in was once a very good friend of mine. We've always been friends actually, since the first day of kindergarten. But I betrayed him." Mr. Vandervander sat and allowed the albums to fall from his arms like leaves, surrounding him. "We were business partners and I made him lose his car and his house, everything. Growing up, I became a very bad man, and perhaps I still am. That's why I let him steal from me."

Ein didn't know how to respond to that, and for once Chucky had nothing to say.

"Anyway," Mr. Vandervander said. "Here are some pictures of Vincent." He opened up an album and showed it to Ein. "Here's little Vincent on his golden training potty. And here's one of Vincent biting his nanny because she bought him a toy he didn't like. Are these alright?"

"Perfect." Ein smiled. "Do you mind if I take some of these home and make copies? I'll bring them back tomorrow."

"Of course. Take all the time and all the pictures you need."

Ein's fingers tingled as they caressed the soft cover of the album. These photos, these simple family photos, had the power to make things right.

***

"Wakey, wakey, Vincent."

Vincent clawed at the air in front of him. "No! I don't wanna go to school today!"

"Wake up!"

Cold water attacked Vincent's face. He opened his eyes and growled. "You…how did you find my fortress?"

Ein smiled. "Sunflower told me. She was happy to tell me when I said I wanted to talk to you and make things better between us."

Vincent didn't like the sound of that, especially the way Mean Boy said it. "What do you want?"

"What do I want, Vincent? I want to ask you how you're doing this fine morning? Well, Vincent?"

"I'm not faring very well, now that you're here."

"That's amusing, Vincent. You're quite the comedian, Vincent."

"Why do you keep saying my name like that?"

"No reason, Vincent."

"Stop that. I don't want to associate my name with your horrid voice."

Ein boomed with laughter, then stopped on a dime. "Here's the thing, Vincent. I have some pictures here." He spread them out like cards. "Normally, I'm not too interested in photographs, but as you can see, these are pictures of you."

Vincent clenched his hands into fists. "Where did you get those! Give them back!"

"I'm afraid that won't be happening."

"Give them back!"

At that moment, Old Hobo Joe rushed inside and was about to tackle Ein when Vincent shouted, "Stop! Get out of here right now, peon!"

Old Hobo Joe arched a bushy eyebrow.

Vincent sighed. "I don't…I don't want you to see these pictures. Regarding his commander, there are some things a soldier shouldn't see."

Old Hobo Joe nodded and left the castle.

Vincent narrowed his eyes. "What is this about, Mean Boy?"

"Oh, a lot of things." He fanned himself with the pictures. "Mainly I want you to do exactly what I say, or I'll show these pictures to Sunflower and Princess."

Vincent forced a laugh. "Go ahead and show them. The pictures might be a bit embarrassing, but I can handle a little humiliation."

Ein laughed again, this time more insanely than before. "You really don't know, do you?"

"What?"

"Sunflower and Princess don't know about this. They don't know you were rich growing up."

"Of course they do. They always talk about the difficulties I've faced due to my economic background."

"That's because they think you were poor. They think you had nothing."

Vincent felt goosebumps on his arms that soon spread to the rest of his body. "That…that can't be true. No! They understand the things I went through! They know who I am!"

"If you want to take that chance," Ein said. "Go ahead and show them the pictures. I'm sure they'll be just as understanding once they learn you're a spoiled little brat."

"I don't care if they do learn the truth!"

"You really don't care if Sunflower knows? You wouldn't care if she looked at you differently?"

Vincent pounded his mattress, then stared forward. "What do you want me to do?"

"For one, I want my bike back. Two, don't talk bad about me in front of everybody anymore. In fact, stay away from me. Don't talk about me and don't talk to me."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

***

Sunflower couldn't believe it. Ein and Vincent came into the restaurant together, and they weren't yelling at each other! She couldn't imagine what Ein had wanted to tell Vincent that would have changed the way they acted toward each other so much.

But there was no time for these kinds of thoughts now. There was business to be done.

She called everyone into her office.

"I've called everyone here to inform you that we need to start making money from this place. Fast. Really, really fast. If we could manage it, I'd like to have our grand opening in two days."

"Two days?" Princess bit the head off a chocolate dinosaur. "But don't we need to advertise and stuff?"

"We don't have enough money for traditional advertising. That's the real problem. We need to find a way to get people to come here. Once they start coming, I'm sure word of mouth about Vincent's excellent cooking will be enough to keep us in business, but until then, we need to come up with a good business magnet. Any ideas?"

"Why don't we have a sideshow?" Vincent said. "Then we could showcase freaks like Ei…" He clapped a hand over his mouth.

"What were going to say, Vincent?" Ein said.

"Nothing. I forgot."

"Good."

"I got an idea," Princess said. "What's the number one thing that attracts people to go somewhere?"

"What?" Sunflower said.

"Celebrities." Princess smiled. "All we need is some famous people, and the customers will come even if it starts raining frogs."

"That's a great idea." Sunflower added the word celebrity to her cluster chart. "So…does anybody know any celebrities?"

There was silence for a long while.

Then Ein said, "Wait a second, I do. I have this friend named Chucky and--"

"You never told me you had a friend named Chucky," Princess blurted.

"I met him in my psych class. Anyway, both of his parents are soap stars. Mr. and Mrs. Flabbing. I think they're from that All My Worlds show."

"Do you think you can get them to come?" Sunflower said.

"Maybe. I'll ask."

"Excellent. They'll attract the stay-at-home moms. Does anyone else know any celebrities?"

Another serving of silence.

Princess sighed. "If only we knew the Ninja."

"Hey," Ein said. "You've seen the Ninja too?"

"Everyone in town knows about him. If we had him at our grand opening, we'd be home free. Too bad we can't get him."

Sunflower was already writing up diagrams and probability equations for her plan. "Maybe we can."